Birth parents, Reasons not to vilify
Because she is still Charlie’s birth mom and that would be wrong….
I have to admit, I am still disappointed in Charlie’s birth mom. But I honestly do not know her. I don’t know about her family history, her mental state or her current life. I have not spent one day with her to get to know her. That was not my job as a foster parent. When Charlie gets older I will not tell him anything bad about her. That would only hurt him.
She’s only human….
I know people make mistakes, and I am no saint. Maybe I have a little more maturity than she does. Well, probably a lot. I am actually 2 years older than her mom. So I have maturity on my side. I don’t really know why she was caught up in drugs or why she is always desperate for love and a boyfriend. Maybe that is just the person she is. People make mistakes and sometimes you have to pay for them.
She was unable to parent him…
His young birth mother was literally unable to parent him. Without a place to live, no money, no car, and no family to help, it probably took all of her effort just to keep herself going. In this day and age it is hard to keep up. People who were doing well 15 years ago are struggling now. Times are tough. And they are really tough for a young, uneducated, unskilled, unemployed mom on drugs.
When Charlie is grown and he wants to find his birth mom I will be happy to help him locate her. But I hope he will understand that adoption was the best option for him. I hope he will see what kind of life she has lived and he will be grateful that his life is not like hers. As for his bio dad, he did the best thing for Charlie that he could have done. He willingly gave him up. He knew he could not take care of him.