I ultimately chose foster care adoption

From feeling completely hopeless to an all in Mom

There is hope for anyone out there who wants to be a parent. With DHS foster care adoption you can be married, single, straight, gay, older, and anything else; they discriminate against no one. Maybe you are at your last ditch effort. I certainly was. Yes I did accept a baby exposed to meth. But if that were not the case he would have never been put in the foster care system. Is he doing absolutely great? YES he is. Is he totally adorable? YES he is. Am I on cloud nine? YES I am. He is doing so great you would not know anything had ever happened to him before he was born. I cannot speak for all children born exposed to meth. But he has overcome the effects of in uterine drug exposure as far as I know. He was not born addicted and the drugs leave their system in just a few days. But I do know there were side effects. He was not an easy going content baby.

For years I tried to get pregnant naturally with my ex-husband and then with fertility treatments. The biggest problem was my husband had a low sperm count and did not want to admit or discuss how this was his infertility. The topic was off limits. It felt like he wanted to be a real mans man and that guy would never have a sperm count problem. This went on for years and I just hoped and prayed for a miracle baby. I never got a miracle baby. We finally went to see a fertility specialist and we were told only IVF would work with his low of a sperm count. We were shocked and sticker shocked. He went and had tests done and wouldn’t even tell me when the appointment was. Just that it would be soon. Which meant it was not my business. When I finally got the nerve to ask him months later how it went he was angry that I didn’t ask sooner.  I should have walked out the door and told him I wanted a divorce right then. But no, I hung on. Then he did have an operation to have his testicle veins untangled. When I asked if there was any change in his count a few months later he said he didn’t know because he hadn’t paid the bill yet and didn’t think he could go back until then. I knew then I was married to a total idiot. Well, needles to say it did nothing to increase his count. When I told him our options, and I threw adoption in the mix, he said we could not adopt. Who was this man I married? He wasn’t the same person. In 10 years of marriage he had evolved into a fat, selfish, alcoholic, drunk.  I did not need him.

I got my own baby. I did not end up needing a man and he wasted my fertile years and my desire to be in a relationship with another guy for now at least.

So after all of that, there is hope for anyone who wants to be a parent. I am certainly not saying foster care or adoption is right for everyone and it does not always work out for some people. But for me I got a perfect little baby that is my own.