Foster care adoption and what you need to know
I adopted my infant son from foster care
First of all, I would like to say I am so very blessed that I was able to adopt my little boy.
So… how to adopt from foster care? When I first got Charlie at 3 weeks old, I fell in love, How could you not? Yet being a foster mom there was always that voice in my head reminding me he had a mother that wanted him back. I felt torn because I don’t want to take anyones baby from them, but I wanted him so badly. I had to tell myself that I do not play much of a part in the outcome of Charlie’s story. At first I thought I will try what I can so his bio will be annoyed with him and not want him. This consisted of giving her enough formula to make sure he would spit up all over. But that was silly, he did that no matter how much formula he had and of course that was not going to annoy her.
There is nothing to do. The birth parents are going to get their lives on track, or they are not. It didn’t matter one bit what I did, it was all up to them. There were things I did that certainly helped me to gain the bio mom’s trust and the trust of the case worker and the judge.
I was always kind and polite to the birth mom. I always made sure she knew this was not about me, that I did not have inside information and was not in the know. Because I was not. When she asked me if they were going to terminate her rights, I told her I did not think so, it was way to early for that. My sister and I invited her to church with us and we were kind and generous towards her. Because it was the right thing to do. With the case worker, I always tried very hard to accommodate his schedule and bring the baby to as many things as he wanted me to. I was always prompt with making doctor appointments and keeping to all the requests DHS wanted. I was the model foster parent. I never gave the case worker any problems and he gave me the same respect. He always returned my calls promptly and listened to my questions and concerns. (This is a rarity in case workers. He was GOLD). I also went to all the family team meetings. Mostly because I got a lot of information at them. I attended every court hearing. The first hearing I did not bring the baby, as it was inconvenient for me to bring him. I did bring him to the last 2 hearings. The judge could see that I always came and mostly brought him too. The judge loved seeing him. They like to see the children are happy and healthy with their foster family. On his adoption day, everyone in the court room was very happy for me and Charlie. They could see what a wonderful family he was getting. One less child that would be in the system. My child will never be back in their system. I made myself as involved with the case as I could be and let everyone involved know I was invested in this child. And I was.
There isn’t really a sure fire way on how to adopt from foster care. But I do now that by cooperating with the case worker and the birth parents things went a whole lot smoother and I was definitely the top person in line to adopt this perfect little baby. For me all the pieces fell perfectly together and it was truly meant to be.